The Extras Have Things to Say

S&S BLOG:  Welcome back to the Sword and Sorcery Books Blog!  Today we have a treat for you as we examine the perspective of the townspeople who participated in the first book of the SHADOWS OF NIGHT book series, SHADOW’S CLAW.  We have book extras Sam the Barkeep, Bob the Merchant and Francis the Farmer. 

SAM:  Actually, we’re here to talk about something else.

S&S BLOG:  Excuse me? 

BOB:  Yeah, We’re here to complain about you Hollywood types messing up our town.

S&S BLOG:  Um, I’m not sure I understand.  Hollywood?  You do realize that this is a book series, right?

BOB:  Oh, all you entertainment people are just the same. 

FRANCIS:  Yeah.

S&S BLOG:  I’m sorry, isn’t there a better time we can discuss this?  This is going out onto the S&S Blog…

SAM:  No, I think we need to discuss this now.  You come into our town, throw money around to rent out the place, put dirt on the streets, clutter the downtown with carts and change the storefronts for your semi-medieval setting and then you don’t pay for cleanup…

S&S BLOG:  Really, we didn’t pay for the dirt or anything else either.  We have no budget…

BOB:  You don’t donate anything to the town for the inconvenience.  Your crew kept filling up the line at McDonald’s every morning.  I couldn’t get my Egg McMuffin before work, and I get my Egg McMuffin every day before I go into work.  Every day for twenty years, I get my Egg McMuffin before I go to work…

FRANCIS:  Yeah.

S&S BLOG:  Really?  I’m sorry but I don’t see how…

BOB:  Every morning, an Egg McMuffin.  You Hollywood folks hit town, and no Egg McMuffin.  Nada.  Zilch. 

S&S BLOG:  I’m so sorry, but I don’t see how…

SAM:  And the loud parties your cast threw every night after writing were very disruptive!  People are trying to sleep.  Some of us work for a living you know, and the kids have school in the morning.

S&S BLOG:  They threw parties?  I didn’t know about any parties…

BOB:  Oh yes.  Big, loud parties.  My brother Tom who works for the town police department had to fish the Dwarf, naked and drunk, out of the pool several times, and Tommy let him off with a warning each time.  The wizard kept puking over the motel fence, and god knows how many pizzas went unpaid-for.  Our kids don’t need to see that.  That’s disgusting!

S&S BLOG:  I wasn’t invited to any…

SAM:  Yeah, and the cast and crew bought out the liquor store every weekend while you guys were here.  And you couldn’t beg, borrow or steal a donut in the whole county.

FRANCIS:  Yeah.

S&S BLOG:  Why wasn’t I invited to any…

SAM:  And I had a cart in front of my business door the whole time.  I sell insurance.  You try and be an insurance agent when people can’t get into your office…

FRANCIS:  Yeah.

S&S BLOG:  I’m the producer, director and writer of the books, and nobody invited me to any parties…

BOB:  And then there was all the bad news reports from your cast and crew parties.  We’re a good, clean family community of God-fearing people.  That bad press lowers property values.  You are responsible for that, bub…

SAM:  And what part of the profits are we getting from all these books?  You tear up our town, keep us up all night with your rowdy rough-neck cast and crew, and you don’t give back to the town, you don’t clean up.  What do we get out of all of this?  Huh?  Where’s our cut of the profits?

FRANCIS:  Yeah.

S&S BLOG:  Um, well, I guess we should cut it off there…

BOB:  You’ll be hearing from our lawyers…

SAM:  The town should get a cut of the profits, I tell you…

FRANCIS:  Yeah.

S&S BLOG:  Okay… Thank you Sam, Bob and Francis for dropping into our studios…

SAM:  Bob, um, look at this place.  I can’t believe people work in a hole like this.  We probably won’t get much money out of them.

BOB:  The coffee’s awful too.  Want to go for an Egg McMuffin?

Francis:  Yeah.

SAM:  Okay, if you’re buying…

S&S BLOG:  …And thank everyone for checking in with us.  We will have more S&S Blog up soon, so check in again really soon.  There is allegedly a blizzard on the way, and so we might have more time to produce a little more S&S Blog…

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2 Responses to “The Extras Have Things to Say”

  1. This article was very useful for a paper I am writing for my thesis.

    Thanks

    Bernice Franklin

    • Bernice, if you you used any part of this blog for an academic paper, good luck and God love you but I really, REALLY fear for your grade. Please keep saving and sending in those box tops and they’ll eventually send you your degree. However the S&S Blog is always glad to help!

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